Routines vs Rhythms: learning to have grace for yourself

“Routines are built for control; rhythms are built for connection. One manages time — the other honors energy.”

Happy August! I have bittersweet feelings towards this month. To me its quite a nostalgic month. A time for reflection- on the year so far, on the summer, and on the past. For many its the month school begins again or its the very last bit of summer.

For me, my stress levels take a climb, as I try to get back into the swing of things. The switch up from my summer schedule to my fall schedule, never fails to make me want to pull my hair out.

However, the last two years, I've been unconsciously adjusting my views on schedules and routines, and have found myself (who is an avid planner and routine lover) being more flexible with myself. This flexibility has lead to less stress, more acceptance for what comes my way, and less burn out!

You might have heard this before, but did you know that a man's hormone cycle is only 24 hours? While a women's is 21-35 days? Women's bodies naturally balance a routine with a rhythm. Our periods aren't the exact same each month, sometimes shorter or longer (our rhythms), but the 4 phases of our cycle follow the same order (our routines). This is why some people follow a cycle syncing lifestyle in order to honor their bodies routine and rhythm. If you want more info on how to cycle sync check out this blog post: Cycle Syncing: The Basics

However today, I want to focus on the broad picture that women are meant to balance a routine and rhythm in our life. We can have a set idea for our daily routines, but learn to make it a rhythm that can be flexible to what our body needs. Don't worry- I have examples coming!

So first, what's the difference?

Have you ever heard that buildings are made to move, (just a little bit), so that in case an natural disaster happens, the building will be more flexible to the winds coming its way?

Think of two trees, one that looks super sturdy and tough, and another that flows with the wind, but still has roots deep in the ground. When a strong gust of wind comes, you don't want to be that sturdy-looking tree, as it doesn't know how to flow so its likely to be blown over or at least take the wind very harshly. You want to be the one that can adjust itself to the wind but still be grounded.

ROUTINES

A routine are often more disciplined and structured. They create habits (good and bad), and often build consistency.

• Often time-bound and scheduled.

• Usually designed to build habits, boost productivity, or accomplish tasks.

• Can feel imposed or necessary by outside influences.

RHYTHMS

A rhythm is often tailored to your energy levels, and better for restoration and boosting creativity (as it gets us out of ruts and repetition).

• Less rigid, more responsive to needs and context.

• Emphasizes balance, wellbeing, and sustainability.

• Emerges from tuning into one’s body, energy, or environment.

How to apply this to your life?

Typically I would try to give you a step by step on how to apply this idea into your life, but truly, I think this just takes a mindset shift and time to learn. So instead I am going to give some examples on how this idea can apply to your life:

Example one

• You have a set night time routine with specific times for each step by to done by. However, on days that your schedule it thrown off by something, it sends you into a spiral, screwing with your night, day or, even week. Instead of set times, you're going to switch into blocks of time. Say that between 9pm-9:30pm, you will begin your routine. And by 10-10:30 you will be in bed. That allows you between an hour and an hour an half to get to bed and you still have time to complete your steps, its just with an added flexibility (or a rhythm)to honor changes that may come around.

Example Two

• You have a routine of waking up at 5 am for a morning run before heading to school. However, you just started your period and you feel awful. Instead of throwing the routine out the door, honor your energy and do a short walk around the block.

Example Three

• You have a routine of making the same blueberry pancakes every morning, however fall is around the corner, and the blueberries aren't looking as great. So instead you swap them out with some cinnamon apple pancakes. You still follow the routine, but you also eat with the seasonal rhythm. This could also apply to days where you run out of blueberries and you don't want to throw off the plan you mentally made!

Example Four

• You have a routine of waking up at 6:30am in order to be at school on time, However you stayed up late last night doing homework. Instead of waking up at 6:30am- on the dot- you can shift your routine into a rhythm by waking up between 6:30am-6:40am, and adjusting other areas of your routine the same way. Maybe you don't make a full breakfast, and just grab a protein bar and apple while eating in the car or maybe you have a go to simple hair style for those mornings. That way you have some grace for yourself on those rougher days.

Example Five

• School is starting back and you're stressed out about your busy schedule. You try to plan out each minute of the day, before feeling like you don't have enough time in your day to get everything done. Instead, you create a rhythm to go by, following what you need to get done AND what your body needs. You let your body tell you what you have the energy for at that time, and know that somedays you won't have the mental space to hang out with your friends on the weekends or to get all your homework done the night before and you may have to do some homework the morning or at lunch, and that's okay! My great grandpa has taught the people in my family that days with too much to do, choose the three most important items and put everything else for later.

At the end of the day, the basic understand is give yourself, and your body, and your needs grace. We aren't structured, perfect beings, and our lives will never be that way. Its just not meant to be. Once we can accept that into our lives, we can begin to flourish through the ups and the downs and the really busy schedules, because we accept whats coming and know that our routines can become rhythms.

I hope you enjoy this blog post, and that it can bring some peace to your life as we begin the fall semester and a new month.

Happy August little Bee's.

Brooklyn.