"Every real friendship needs at least one argument to test how strong your friendship is."-unknown.
Hello all you Bees! Today's blog post is about friendships, more specifically working through conflict with friends peacefully. Conflict is expected when it comes to any relationship but the outcome of the conflict, is the determining factor on how strong that relationship is. If you make it out, sometimes that relationship can become stronger, but if you are stuck in the conflict, then your relationship might be weak, and it might be time to move on from it. Today we are going to give you two lists of steps to...
1. Make it through conflict peacefully (as you can)
2. End conflict and the relationship peacefully (as you can)
It is important touch on both sides of conflict: the good side for those that want to remain friends, and the other side for those who are in conflict and it isn't a great friendship, so it is time to end it.
Making it through conflict peacefully (as you can): a list of steps
Be the bigger person: If your friend is ignoring you, don't ignore them back. Be the bigger person and try to find a way resolve the conflict. Don't be a push-over but try to find a balance between you and your friend to resolve or compromise.
Use a neutral tone: When it comes to conflict, tones can be the difference between whether you make it through the conflict and stay friends or you never make it through the conflict. This goes for in person conversations and on text. ALL CAPS and lots of explanation marks!!!!! should be avoided and yelling and screaming in person should also be avoided.
Pick a good time to talk: Talking in high stress times or when you are both upset, is not a good time and will more than likely end badly or not solve anything. So, find a time when you are both calmed down enough to talk it over and try to find a way to resolve the conflict.
Try to understand their point of view: A. It is better to do this in person than on the phone but if that isn't possible a call is better than nothing. On text, things can be misconstrued and taken out of context so it a call is better than that. B. When you sit down with them to listen and understand their side, they will feel more inclined to sit and listen and try to get your side. This way you both will understand each other and can come up with a solution.
Come to a solution or resolution: This doesn't mean one of you has to give up your ideas or your side, but it should mean that you come to a compromise or way to move past the conflict. Whether that means agreeing to move past your differences, or finding an agreement, in order to have a successful friendship you have to find a solution to the conflict, or it will just arise again.
End conflict and the relationship peacefully (as you can): a list of steps
Use a neutral tone: When it comes to conflict, tones are a main component of what makes it peaceful or not, whether you want to remain friends or not. This goes for in person conversations and on text. ALL CAPS and lots of explanation marks!!!!! should be avoided and yelling and screaming in person should also be avoided.
Pick a good time to talk: Talking in high stress times or when you are both upset, is not a good time and will more than likely end badly or not solve anything. Even if you don't want to stay friends with this person, it is good to have closure and talk through the end of the relationship instead of drifting apart and holding onto the conflict.
Let them know your feelings and listen to theirs: When you talk, let them know what hurt you and why you no longer want to be friends. This will leave them in less of a mystery if they wanted to stay friends and you don't. Friendships have to be supported from all sides, not just one, so it is important to express your feelings and then leave the friendship.
Be the bigger person after if something arises: Often times when someone is hurt, (like after a friendship ends), it can have drama. If it is one sided drama and you don't do it back, they are more likely to stop. You should stand up for yourself, but don't stoop to their level and create drama like they are. Be the bigger person.
Remember that conflict in any type of relationship is natural. It just shouldn't be prolonged or get to the point that you are hurting each other. This is also a good time to remind you that you deserve great friendships. If someone isn't being a good friend, then it's ok to distance yourself from them. That doesn't mean that you have to remove them completely, but you shouldn't stay close to someone that is hurting you.
Have a lovely day Bee's!
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