Recently, I've been hearing so many people online talk about the cool girl aesthetic and how to achieve it. Basically how to be "THAT" girl. Giving out fashion advice, different smells to wear, or how to appear in order to be this "cool girl". I hear things like "wear a bare face and red lipstick" or "big bags and funky shoes". But lets be real, the coolest girls are the ones who are themselves. EVERYONE has their OWN version of cool girl.
Cool-ness is NOT defined by what you are wearing or what you smell like, or if you own a certain perfume or talk to certain people. It's being YOU. and everyone's recipe will be a little be different because just like one shirt doesn't look the same on two people... one specific recipe doesn't work for all. So... this recipe is meant to be absorbed and altered to fit YOU.
The TRUE "cool" Girl Recipe
Ingredients:
A journal and pen
An open mind
A kind heart
2 listening ears
A healthy dose of self-confidence
A cup of thoughtfulness
3 scoops of self-love
Steps:
Journaling The first step is to explore who you are and put it to paper. The act of journaling with pen and paper has been so beneficial to finding who I want to be and who I am. And there is nothing cooler than the girl who is able to be themselves and is confident in who they are. Here are some Prompt Ideas: -What are your habits? -Do you have boundaries? What are they? How do you express them? -Where is your focus right now? -What does your social presence look like? Are you happy with it? -How do people treat you? How do you treat people?
-What shows do you watch? -What is your favorite colors? Why? How do they make you feel? -What do you consume on media? Could you make beneficial changes?
-What kind of person do you aspire to be? -What is your dream career? Have you explored other ideas?
Exploring New Hobbies The second step is to OPEN THAT MIND, try new things, and find what you enjoy! That cool girl? She has a hobby and she has her things... but she didn't just know what they were, she probably tried a hundred different things before finding it. And even better, the act of exploring hobbies and yourself is quite cool in itself.
Talk to All Kinds of People The third step is to talk to all kinds of people. People are fascinating, and I will stand by that statement. But you will never know how fascinating and unique people are until you speak to all kinds of people. Sometimes we think we can only be seen with the popular people or a certain group in order to be cool, but this is so untrue. Talking to new and different people is a great way to open your mind... use those 2 listening ears to see other peoples perspectives and hear about other opinions or views on the world you may not have considered. The coolest people I know, have befriended many many different types of people.
Find fun, healthy ways to get your heart beat up The fourth step I've included because in every cool girl post I've seen, it's has some sort of work-out routine to follow. But let's be real, the best work out, is the one YOU enjoy. Find a way to get your heartbeat up and racing in a way that feels good for you. You don't have to sign up for a pilates class if you don't feel like it....maybe you enjoy running or swimming or a at home workout in your bedroom. You don't have to go for a run...maybe you enjoy yoga or pilates or a treadmill. Do you get it? Find something that YOU ENJOY doing. Exercise is cool and fun, IF it's done in enjoyment and is benefitting you mentally and physically.
Find your personal style
The fifth step is find your personal style. Personally, I'm tired of seeing the Tik-Toks and Pinterest pins that tell me what is "cool" to wear. Not that I am against all fashion trends, but I am against putting yourself in clothing that you don't feel your best in. Now, for those of us who are unsure what is their own style....experiment. Play around with clothing and fashion. I'd say I spent around a year or more purposely going through multiple different styles to find the clothing that I feel the best in. Not only do I feel so much better in my clothes and with myself, I also am honest with myself about trends and wether I truly like them or if I was told it was cool so I felt compelled to agree. Wearing something that isn't YOU, is not cool to anyone.
Set your Boundaries The sixth step is setting those boundaries everyone is talking about because Boundaries are COOL. So set them. Let people know what you are and aren't comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with something, it's not cool to do it. If you don't want to do something and you force yourself to, you're going to be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable people do not exude cool, authentic selves. So set your boundaries with people on the topics your okay with, the people and places you feel safe with, the actions your comfortable doing or being around. If you need a night in, COOL. If don't want to hang out with a specific person anymore, COOL.
Boundaries are COOL.
Talk it out, don't text it out... My seventh step is talk it out, don't text it out. Did you know facial expressions are a universal language? They did a study on how people communicate and found that the facial expressions for basic emotions like anger, sadness, happiness, ect... were the same across multiple different areas of the world. This is the thing we lack in a conversation over text. If you have the chance to talk in person, do it. If you can't, call or video call them instead. It allows us to connect with the person we are communicating with and lessens the chance of miscommunication. And whats cooler than a deep connection and good communication?
Steer Conversations Away From Gossip My eighth is steer clear of gossip. Listen, gossip is fun, we've all been there and we all know. But want a way to suck all your energy dry? Gossip. It doesn't add value to your conversation or yourself. It doesn't better your well-being or provide and support and kindness to the people around you. And honestly? Why would someone trust a gossiper? How can they ensure the gossiper isn't talking bad about them behind their own back or sharing their own secrets? They can't. Building trust and good relationships with people doesn't just mean being kind and good to one person, it means being kind and thoughtful to everyone around you. Cool girls are trustworthy and thoughtful. They don't gossip and talk bad about others. So be thoughtful with your words.
Be kind My last and final step is the be kind. This is to yourself and to others. A kind heart shines through. There are certain people I've met in my life that I call "sunshine" people. When they walk in a room it seems to warm up and shine a bit brighter. You know the common trait between these girls? They are so kind. Not just to the people around them but to themselves, I've never heard them talk bad about themselves or others. Its just kindness. And this doesn't mean you have to be happy all the time (no one is), I've seen these girls cry too, but they aren't mean. And that's the key. It's cliche but its true.. Kindness is COOL.
And that is my TRUE COOL GIRL RECIPE!
It's simple. You don't need a specific perfume or a brand name shoe, its just being authentically you. Kind girls, are cool girls. Authentic girls are cool girls. YOU ARE A COOL GIRL.
Have a lovely November sweet bee's,
Brooklyn.
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