I am a collection of those around me

In the last year, I’ve realized that I have picked up on habits from those I spend a lot of time with. And I made a list of these things. 

I am a collection of those around me.

The time we spend, the words they say, the actions I observe, all pour into me.

I make my pie with almond extract the way my great granny did, eat stone fruit on fishing trips the way my papa does, reach for ginger chews in the check out line like my mema. 

When I'm excited I squeal, I didn't realize until my friends pointed out that my mom does it too. I am so much like my mom, I could write an entire separate list for that.

I put perfume behind my ears because a girl I no longer talk to told me people will smell it when they hug you and I never apply lipstick over my cupid’s bow because a childhood friend always made sure hers was visible. 

In the morning, I read my bible after I took a trip with friends who do this, and I found myself feeling more steady when starting my day with God.

The way I write fancy ‘a’, love certain book series, journal daily, give homemade gifts, listen to songs on repeat… all from others. 

I am a collection of those around me. Past, present, and future.

It’s interesting to me that people we spend time with can rub off on us that much. It’s probably why the phrase, “You hang with dogs, you get fleas” is a thing. 

Which then got me thinking about this saying. My local church did a sermon series on phrases that the bible contradicts yet are so often said. And I realized if we were to think about this phrase in a biblical way, it could become a dangerous idea that we can only be around ‘perfect’ people, all without flaws. I imagine you’d get pretty lonely when you realize none of your friends can measure up to that standard. Only Jesus is perfect and sinless. 

This made me pause because I know I’ve thought and lived this saying out, and in most cases all it did was keep me away from another human being, another person God loves. I could have impacted them in a positive way, they may have taught me something or made me look at the world a bit differently, see stuff I didn’t before.There’s really no telling how God could have moved in those situations.

Let’s look at Jesus. In the gospels we see the religious leaders getting upset at Jesus for spending time with those who were ‘impure’, the sinners. But Jesus shows love and care and mercy to those sinners. In fact He makes them His disciples. 

I think about the Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus speaks to everyone and calls us to be the ‘light of the world’. To live out our faith means not ignoring those with flaws… we all have flaws. We are ALL sinners. And to ignore people we deem as ‘impure’ would mean to be like the religious leaders who didn’t accept the disciples and continually were appalled that Jesus would spend His time with them. 

If we are truly living like Jesus, why would we say, “You hang with dogs, you get fleas.”? No, instead, you can show up and be the light of the world.

However, I think it's important to acknowledge the distinction between putting ourselves in a situation that causes you to sin, and being around people who you don’t agree with. Being able to encourage others, without being pulled into dark places, is the key.

The bible tells us not to put ourselves in situations that will cause us to sin. If you are in one of those situations, then leave it and leave the people in it. Pray for them and for yourself and ask God for help. This is not what I am referring to. I am referring to those that don’t associate with people who they fear may ruin their reputation or purposely leave people out or ignore those they don’t agree with. I have been that person in the past, and I am learning to UNLEARN the errored ways of my thinking and actions. 

So I don’t like that saying. However I cannot ignore that who you spend the most time with, does have major impacts on you. This is actually seen in science and in the bible. Which often compliment rather than contradict each other. 

In fact Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” The bible tells us our ‘irons’ will sharpen us. Our friends. Those who will love us and uplift us and are able to correct us when we need it, and they do this all out of their love for us. Just as we do it for them.

Did you know that the people you spend the most time with, you can literally begin to look like? It’s not that your genes are changing to look like others necessarily but that our environments become similar, which affects our bodies and our facial expressions begin to mirror one another which creates similar smiles, wrinkle lines, laughs, etc. 

Is that not so cool? We literally can become to look like one another! It’s WILD! But what this reminds me of the most is not my family or friendships. It's spending time with Christ and living with Jesus. As we walk in our faith and follow Jesus, the idea is that we will begin to look more and more like Him. Maybe not in looks, but in our actions and our words. We begin to mirror Him, just as we do to friends and those we spend time with. 

All that to say, it’s important to have good friends. However, if you are hanging onto and living out the notion that you cannot be around people who believe are ‘dogs’ because it could affect your reputation or you believe it will ‘taint’ you, I encourage you to look closer at that. Spend time with those who uplift you while also pouring into others, without judgment, and leading them to Christ. Be the light of the world. 

I hope you have a lovely day, week, and month. 

All my love, B.